Carina's deepest thinking!

I am gonna lose my mind

2010-08-29T07:04:00.000-07:00

I just cannot stopping thinking of him...I am gonna lost my mind...
I know he is with somebody that's why he didn't give me a call. only email to me....a bit sad...but I know it's real...that is Alex's style!!!cannot cry!!!

I am seeing somebody who is not into me...

2010-05-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

I realised that I am seeing the one who doesn't want to stay at me.
I donno why, maybe it's just lack of the magicnation.
I like him although he has got a bad tamper and a divorce.
He likes to read and do sports which are what I want...
I just donno how to make him be into me...

remember this moment

2009-07-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

haven't post any article for a long time...
I ve met many things not only relationship but also career...
he is so honestly that he doesn't want me to visit him in Feb. cos he doesn't want to show me to his friend in order to avoid letting ppl know our relationship.
on the other hand, he said he misses me and wanna see me...
i miss him as well...
i have got promoted as an EAM now which is regular position.
finally.....i made it and wanna keeps it going on.....

no name

2009-06-09T07:30:00.000-07:00

I have got the thoughts strong recently, that people don't have enough time to seek their true love as the age is getting old.
Consequently, it's so easy to be alone, and to feel lonely.
Maybe it's because people are getting busy in career and wanna spend time with friends so no time to get to know new person and for sure, hard to understand each other. It sounds quite sorrow actually.
Sometimes, I feel sorrow myself cos Alex and me can't work it out and I can't stay with him forever.
However, it's so hard for me to find another one who is like him, loving sports and backpackers.

戴佩妮＿愛瘋了

2009-05-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

I will translate the lyrics into English 4 u someday
it totally can express my thinking in my deep heart.
不敢問　卻一直想問　你心裡藏著什麼人

不敢猜　卻一直想猜　若回去有沒有可能

我不夠完整　你給的從來不夠完整連

一個語氣都無法確認　這種缺乏是什麼象徵

不開燈　我不要開燈　我身邊容不下別的人

不鎖門　我不要鎖門　你回來是一種可能

我那麼的認真　去思考你對我的認真

過程是多麼傷人　而結論始終是疑問

我愛瘋了　我瘋到自己痛也不曉得

放棄了保護自己的責任　放棄了抵抗脆弱的天份

我不管了　我不管這傷口能不能癒合

選擇了你也許是錯的人　選擇包容了你的不安分

我尊重我的選擇　我想我瘋了 (請尊重我的選擇　我想我瘋了)

How to define whether he is the right guy?

2009-05-29T08:14:00.000-07:00

Recently, somethin happened to my friend. There was a guy who has got feeling for her. Suddently, he told her that they don't match because of their social values are different. She doesn't understand because she says that he only talks to her a couple of times, how could he identify that they don't match with each other. Also, he wants to look for the girl whom he can marry, so he thinks about all the condition in terms on marriage. She feels sad cos she has started to like him but he has stopped into her. I am also wondering why he can be so critical that they don't match through a few chattings. I think people should spend a period of time to know each other otherwise, the comment is not precise. The thing which makes me feel sad most as well is that he stop to contact her and spend time in her. If you stop spending time in the one who u like, how can you get to know her more. I think Taiwanese guys are quite strange actually. For me, I won't say I wanna marry him or I wanna date with a guy based on marriage because I don't know him a lot. Anyway, I only can say it's destiny. Somehow, u need to find a right person in a right time, but most of them appear in the wrong time.

Life is getting complicated in workforce

2009-05-20T06:24:00.000-07:00

I have got the feeling that life is getting more complicated no matter in relationship or workforce.
I have to admit that workforce is quite complicated if the relationship between colleagues as well as the element of competition implemented. I don't know why everyone is badly afraid that your colleague will take your performance away if the achievement is really done by you. Guess the reason is because team work exists in the most of the job functions now. Nobody can complete it alone, so there is chance to let ur team worker take your performance away. I think it is right that you should be aware of that kind of people surrounding you in ur work place but you shouldn't be over reacted on the other way around. I like to take challenge but I feel annoyed about this kind of fight in my work.

It's getting different

2009-04-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

When I get up, you start to fall asleep.
During the whole day, I am busy in job.
After I off duty, I am reachable but you are not.
When I prepare to go to bed, you ask me when my plan is for today which is almost the end.
Our life is different and the overlap is getting less.
The tears which I drop until now can fill a dam...it's still dropping.
I love you...do you know how deep I love you?

no subject

2008-11-07T10:20:00.000-08:00

I found we hurt each other when we have an argument at that moment.
All the words we are using at that moment are sharp and harmful.
After that, I always regret all what I said to him.
I feel sorry about what I said to hurt him.
I don't know cos it makes me feel angry when he becomes impatient to me
Maybe it's because I think I did a lot for him but he is still not satisfied at what I did.
However, I love him so much
that's why I feel sad when I said something to hurt him.
but I also feel sad about his saying which is harmful,
I miss him a lot everyday and I am so scared that I am gonna lose him soon.

can we make it?

2008-10-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

Carina
01:24

hi, how are you doing? I want to tell you something that is we may need to consider that we should look for the partner who can be aside with us, who can share the life experience together. I don't mean I don't love you, but I just think it seems hard to share the life with each other together. I love you, and I want to experience the life with you but it seems hard to make it. I just want to say, if you are seeing somebody, you should go for her instead of choosing me who can't be aside with you. I love you and miss you, darling

This might be the last SMS which I sent to Alex. It is so hard to say it cos I love him so much. He has become my first thing everyday. I always want to share with him about what happens everyday of me. However, I don't know when we can live together again. It might be after three months, six months, or one year, or maybe we won't live together anymore. It has become so difficult to live here aline everyday since he left. I love him.
Dear God, please help me to break through this obstacle. I beg you, God.

the last priority

2008-10-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

I think I am not the most important person for my partner, cos I am the last priority for him.
I don't have any bravery to confirm it.

I don't want to be treated like her

2008-10-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was in the UK.
He lived with me and we had a lot of fun.
There was always a girl who called her in the afternoon or evening.
He always talked to her gentle and with soft tone.
He usually told her what happened recently, but she never knew there was a girl next to the guy.
I am afraid I will be the same girl like her.
I don't wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnt it.

unhappy

2008-09-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I can't type loughborough again just because he said the web page is not finished yet.
I still don't get the point, and I think I can do what I want
I did hear he said it was not finished yet, but it doesn't mean I couldn't search it again by myself.
it was really disappointed...
I really don't know hoe to do when he feel annoyed.
I don't know how to do when he behaves impatient.
I still can't forgive him that he tear the cardboard out from the TV.
He doesn't care about that I want to practice English.
He only thinks he wants to read the Chinese which he thinks it is useless.

three times today

2008-08-13T09:25:00.001-07:00

Today, I felt like something wrong cos he only talked to me three times which were to ask me something.
first, to ask me whether I can help to top up the credit of skype
second, to ask me to top up the credit for his friend who would help his thesis
third, to ask me to do a trial to ensure his website is woking

I did my best to come back in order to see him and to chat with him about what happened with each other....
it seems hard to make it

I think that's why I cried

to work in Germany seems not impossible but difficult

2008-08-05T07:53:00.001-07:00

The feeling to work in Germany normally comes out regularly.
It has happened again these days and I also started to think about this question seriously.
I started to look for some information through BBS, Blog or some forums.
Normally, the information which I have got is usually difficult, but this time, the news seems better.
I found that it seems not impossible to get a job without a criteria that is be able to speak German fluently.
Some people still can get the job even though they can't speak English.
However, their advantage is that they have working permission because they are married.
I can't....

something seems happened

2008-07-20T00:51:00.000-07:00

our relationship is getting better but there seems not as close as I suppose,
I don't know what chemical thing happened.
sometimes, I feel like we won't be close anymore.
I am scared.

donno why

2008-06-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

I don't know why he always says I give him the pressure.
He wastes his time during the day time to sleep or to chat with his friends.
As a result, he doesn't have time to share what happens during the day to me, because he has to study.
If I say: please try to use the day time and to spend the evening with me, and he will say I give him pressure.
In my opinion, we can't spend time with each other during the day time, so for sure, I hope we can spend some time in the evening.
Am I wrong?
In spite, I told him that I feel sad because I didn't have any progress in my German.
The response which I have got is that I give him the pressure.
I spent time to correct his Chinese but he didn't spend the time to teach my German as long as mine.
I even have to post a notice to look for the language exchange.
What a shame for me...
Everyone asks me why I have to look for another one.
I have already had the one who can practice German with me.
I don't know why.
He says he loves me so much...but I don't know.
He said I bothered him a lot because I sent him 10 SMS someday.
It's just because I missed him.
Anyway, as long as he feels stressed, he starts to challenge me everything.
That's him.

he has never told me about what he talked to his families

2008-06-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

He has never told me about what he talked to his mum and dad if I didn't ask him
however, he always asks me what I talk to my friends or chat with my friends in the msn...
I don't know why.....jaja
he doesn't like me to ask too much but he always asks me about the same stuff...even though the SMS...

I can feel it

2008-06-03T00:32:00.000-07:00

I can feel he loves me and I am important for him.
I love him as well and hope he can feel that he is important for me.
It's enough~

會呼吸的痛

2008-06-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

想念是會呼吸的痛它活在我身上所有角落
哼你愛的歌會痛看你的信會痛
連沈默也痛

遺憾是會呼吸的痛它流在血液中來回滾動
後悔不貼心會痛恨不懂你會痛
想見不能見最痛

沒看你臉上張揚過哀傷
那是種多麼寂寞的倔強
你拆了城牆讓我去流浪

你回來那就好了

能重來那就好了

I have experienced the relationship which is the most truly, wholeheartly hurt but the sweetest n lovely

2008-06-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

He told me he have decided to separate after he go back after threes months.
I said it's fine for me if you say so, even thought my heart is bleeding at that moment.
He told me many reasons such as culture issue, communication problems, we won't speak the native language of each others, I can't get the job in Germany because of language and I won't be happy to be a hausfrau.
I was quiet to listen what he said and to see his eyes with tears.
I asked him how many possibility we will be together after he go back, and I helped him to answer this question,
first, he will say he doesn't know.
second, the possibility is like only 10 %
it hurt me soooooooooooooooooooooooo much and it's hard to express how painful I feel.
It's like a glass which is shot by a gun suddenly
I think I can t do anything because I can feel he is trying to convince ourselves that we won t make it.
Consequently, it seems useless and hopeless to say anything no matter how much I want to solve it.
He was asking me why I love him so much...
my answer was that nobody is like him who always try to make me laugh a lot and to hold me like that
I do really want to say I don t love him and it would be easier for me to get rid of this sadness.
before tomorrow, I still hold a little tiny hope that we can make it, but now, he has totally destroyed my wish.
It s ok because relationship is composed of two people.
I won t force him if he is not interested in me.
I just wanna say it is so painful like a sharp knife which can t stopping lunging into my heart.
I am sure I will miss him so much and I know it will take a long time until when that I can't predict.
I don t regret because I chose it when I met him in Lufbra.
Now, I have experienced the relationship which is the most truly, wholeheartly hurt but the sweetest n lovely.

now, I really feel sad

2008-05-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

today, I asked him that do you want me to go to Germany
and he said no
the reason is because he thinks that I won't be happy in Germany.
I feel a bit disappointment
I realised that actually, he doesn't want me to go to Germany and he will let this relationship disappear as time goes by.
I think the reason is because he think I won't be happy in Germany if I can't not get the job.
The thing is he even hasn't had the idea that to try to get a job in Germany.
These days, I didn't many things for him as long as he asked me...
I don't like to be a person who always gives.
I don't know why I need to help him to do everything here if he doesn't take our relationship seriously.
he always asks me to help him because he can't speak Chinese here.
As a result, he can't communicate people and to solve his problems.
But he said, he will feel annoy when I go to Germany because he has to do the same things to me.
I feel really shock because he even didn't want to try.
God...
Additionally, I almost can't find anything which he helped me until now. Although I do my best to search it from my memory. The most important thing to make me feel sad is that he doesn't want to do anything to keep our relationship. Only me, like a fool, try every possible way to go to Germany to stay with him...
I can't see any ambition through his eyes to keep our relationship.....
I do realllllllllly saaaaaaaaaaad...this time...
God bless me.....

These days

2008-05-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

These days, I have had some happiness and some sorrow between Alexander and me.
The threat to lose him is getting more that causes me become abnormal as usual.
I almost feel sad everyday because I am afraid that I will lose him.
Meanwhile, I can feel he doesn't want to do me any favor to help me work in Germany. Consequently, I feel disappointed because I really want to go there. Obviously, there seems no future between us in spit of we love each other. I just want back to the original me instead of being a weird girl.
Actually, I should trust him more because he will leave me if he doesn't love me anymore.
So, why do I need to be a girl who doubts him a lot?
Ich lebe ihn immer mehr aber nur wenig futur.

feel better now

2008-04-02T05:51:00.000-07:00

sometimes, I found that I don't need to do too much things or to put him in my first priority, because no matter how much I did for him or how well I performed. I still will be blamed if I make a little mistake. I think there is a bit disappointment. In our culture, we will appreciate what other people do for us, and as well as, we will ignore it if those people make little mistakes. For them, it seems not. He always blames me as long as I make a mistake, no matter how small the mistake is.
Maybe it is not good for us to stay together, then we won't have any conflict anymore. I think I will have another problem with another one. It will happen to him as well. So I think it doesn't matter who you stay with, it's only about how strong you eager to solve the problem between you and him. I love him, and I want to try it.

feel better now after I wrote it. due to I make my thinking clear...hehe

I am afraid

2008-02-15T08:31:00.001-08:00

I am afraid to lose you

anxious

2007-12-12T16:53:00.000-08:00

I didnt sleep yesterday
I guess it's because that I drank a cup of coffee and a bottle of tea
I heard that one of my friend who ended up the relationship with her bf who is in another country.
I realise that i am so insecure now
I donno how to work it out
i just know i have to keep the believe that we can stay together to motivate me

is there any effection of devorced family

2007-11-20T10:58:00.000-08:00

More and more people come from a devorced family.
Why is that getting more about the numbers of the devorced families?
It might be that people dont respect to the marriage as much as usual.
The thing is what effection is caused to the children.
My parents argued a lot when I was a child and teenager.
Everytime, I feel stressed and anxious when they were arguing.
I am not sure that is there any relation between my insecure feeling and fearing of their argument.
but I am sure it is related certainly.
When I grew up, I realised there is no use to ask my parents to live together if they dont love each other anymore.
the problem is that I did hope they can live together when I was a child, because I desired to have a whole complete family.
It is conflicted in my mind, and also, I have many thoughts affected by this issue.
For example, I dont really want to have babies, cos I am not sure how long I will love my partner.
Even I love babies so much.
Also, I will feel painful, if I dont love my partner, but I have to keep this famile in order to meet my children's hope.
I also wonder, how many children who come from two familes will still wanna believe marriage?
It seems to get fewer, I thought....
But I still believe it.
I do believe and respect to my marriage.
I always tell myself that I wont give up my marriage if I have children.
But also, I dont want to have babies until I can make sure we love each other so much and we want to have our next generation.

I only want to be with you

2007-10-11T14:48:00.000-07:00

I love this song so much cos it's like me now.
This was sung by Vonda Shepard in the first season of Ally McBeal--The Promise.
The content talks about that do u want to marry with a guy who offers u safety or who makes ur heart bounce.
I chose the later one. Am I right, I donnt. I just know i love him and he makes my heard bounce like what the song says:

I don't know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go
Cause you started something
Oh can't you see
Ever since we met you've had a hold on me
It happens to be true
I only want to be with you

It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I want to spend each moment of the day with you
Look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me
And asked me if I cared to dance
I fell into open arms
And I didn't stand a chance

Now listen honey
I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care
Cause you started something
Oh can't you see
Ever since we met you've had a hold on me
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me
And asked me if I cared to dance
I fell into open arms
And I didn't stand a chance

Now hear it honey
I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care
Cause you started something
Oh can't you see
Ever since we met you've had a hold on me
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
Oh no matter, no matter what you do
I only want to be with you

people are selfish

2007-08-31T13:23:00.000-07:00

people are so strange
they always like to chose those people who may not love them as their partner, rahter than to chose those people who are waiting for them.
is it strange?
I think so. At least, I am.
I am not sure he loves me as much as what I thought, but I just wanna put me into this situation
Also, I can predict that I will get hurt from him eventually, and I still wanna keep in going for him
What a stupid I am...
I dont like he talk with his exgirlfrined. ya~I am jealous
but only jealous but nothing
I dont like to be that kind of girl
cos I dont like jealous
I think it's because I can feel the enough sense of safe from him
maybe it's also due to that he can give me it
I just wanna be happy
If happy is more than unhappy in this relationship, I think, I will chose to quit rather than to be a unhappy girl
that's what I am
sometimes, the dangerous love is like a taking drug. u wanna stop it, but u cant
so sad......

i always think about a question which is that what change I have done until now...
I think, it's quite a lot...
but, is it worthy???I donno
most of time, I still cant catch his point in his life
I donno know why...
for example, he told me he wants to go to bed earlier
but now, he is talking with his exgirlfriend....
I dont understand is it important???
I dont think so
I think the point is that he just wanna call her now.....because he wants to make sure his exgirlfriend is friendly for him now, and he donesnt want to hear any changes before he graduate
he doesn't care about my feeling ....
He doesnt want me to talk with him, but he talkswith her....
so.....I cant understand...
people are selfish, arent they??? for sure....I am as well
I feel disappointed
I try to care about his feeling, but I think ...what I did is enough
I cant find any motive to let me do it actively...
maybe, I am the girl who offer sex service and cook the dinner everyday....
hoep I am not...
cos I dont need to do it.....
it seems no one who is worthy to let me do so much for him....

it's time to think about something

2007-08-19T03:05:00.000-07:00

now, i think i am sinking in the circle and cant jump out
i think it's hard to separate, the reason may be not u love him so much, may be the feeling of being separated
i am not sure what i am thinking now
i just feel so upset recently
i dont want him who has so many guests
cos i just wanna stay with him alone
but
he doesnt like it
actually
i can feel he has changed a bit
haha
i ve realized we may be not match as much as i think
i think we are getting sober now
it's good to recognize it as earlier as we can
i am happy to meet him
in the beginning, i thought he used me
but i thinked i was wrong
and then , we are getting better
i am happy to stay with him for these months
maybe it's time to calm it down
cos i dont want to feel sad and disappointed
when we separate

it's hard

2007-08-14T14:07:00.000-07:00

when u fall in love with someone, it is happy to stay with him whatever you do.
you will feel sad if you have to separate, especially when u just stay together less than five months.
for sure, both of u do wanna be together longer or try to keep this relationship.
at least, that is waht I though, although i donno other's thinking.
but
when u quit a relationship of 8 years, u start another relationship with another one who met you only 5 months.
also, you will be separated because of some reasons which cant be avoided.
will u still believe that u will have a happy ending with him in the future.....
it's hard, right???

what am i to u

2007-08-02T04:21:00.000-07:00

i feel stressful and blue, cos too many things surround me.
i dont know how to get rid of those
i wanna quit with him, but i cant get any positive opinion from u
the reason why i want to break up with him is u
however, i cant feel how much u love me and i cant make sure how long u will love me
i think if i cant get a job here, this relationship will be gone soon
eventhough, i still wanna quit
i think that i do really love u
but it doesnt mean that u will love me more
u gave up easily the relationship with her, which let me feel u also may do the same to ours
i really donno what will happen in the future about us
everytime, when u say 'dont forget me' always let me feel i will lose u soon
ya...maybe, it's coming soon

i just wanna say
what am i to u, tell me darling truth

no one can predict the future~

2007-07-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

I thought we love each other more and more.
everytime, when I think about u, I wont live with him anymore...
due to I love u
but I know u will live with her when u go back to Austria...
I donno how to say that...it's too complicated...
we know both of us dont want to be them him/her anymore...
but how can we do???
it's too far....isnt it?

張愛玲"紅玫瑰與白玫瑰"

2007-07-04T00:43:00.000-07:00

張愛玲"紅玫瑰與白玫瑰"裏的...
『振保的生命裡有兩個女人,
他說一個是他的白玫瑰,
一個是他的紅玫瑰 ...

也許每一個男子全都有過這樣的兩個女人,
至少兩個.

娶了紅玫瑰, 久而久之,
紅的變了牆上的一抹蚊子血,
白的還是"床前明月光".

娶了白玫瑰,
白的便是衣服上的一粒飯粘子,
紅的卻是心口上的一顆"朱砂痣".』

I think that I prefer to be the rose which is far from u.
when we are in our life, everything has turned to be routine
people say that I ve changed my origional style, I think: I am .
I donno know what's wrong with me.
I do my best to cook everyday in order to let u have a dinner
it's so strange for me, cos I ve never ever look for the recipe.
now, I do it....
I think that I really fall in love....
however, is it worthy???
I donno
anyway, I will see after three months.

life is changeable

2007-06-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

he is gonna leave, and all I can do is nothing
I dont like this feeling, but I ve already known that in the beginning.
I still want to continue the relationship; however, I cant afford it.
I love the time when we do the things we love.
I really like it and I want to ask for a promise.
it's seems rediculous, cos we jsut have been in love for two months.
I have been in love with ted for more than 8 years....
I have to admit that it's absolutely, when u fall in love with the certain guy.
anyway, he is gonna leave next week.
sometimes, u cant choose what u want in ur life due to the time and region force u to do something.
the only one u can do is just go ahead without thinking,
concern makes u unhappy when u have no choice.
i think I love him honestly, but the distance is the stone between he and me...
life is changeable but u need to face it.

impressive the hour of power

2007-06-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

it's the last time of the hour of power on last friday during my life in Lufbra.
I joined the hour of power in the chance when I told Jana that I want to take a exercise.
I remembered that the first time for me to go to the hour of power.
I was so impressed cos everyone needs to squat like to sit on a intagiable chair for five mins
afterthat, everyone needs to pick the weights and hand up them when they are jumping or jogging in the same position.
the time of hour of power lasts 1 hour.
I always feel exhausted when I finished it.
howevery, my whole body is like to be refreshed.....it's soooooooooo good.
I have never forgot the first week 4 me after the hour of power.
my thighs were so achy and I couldnt go to upstair....it's incredable. hahahah

the last time was on last Friday, it was so funny
because all coaches just wore a underware and the colour was white...haha
meanwhile, everyone was sweating when they did the hour of power.....
so that, the underware of the coach was like transparent..
hahaha
I wont forgot it cos it is so interesting and healthy

here is the link of the hour of power from Lufbra
http://www.lufbra.net/club_homepage.asp?clubid=3635

有一種又愛又怕的感覺

2007-05-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

有一種又愛又怕的感覺
好恐怖.....莫名的焦慮

when u fall in love with a guy whom u cant mention to other friends....

2007-05-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

I have been in the UK for 10 months, since last July.
during this period of time, I have got used to live alone.
my life is full of courseworks, drink wine, party with friends.
Actually, I have thouth that I would have not done something out of my prediction.
but I m wrong.
I have falled in love with a Austrian....it sounds so unbelieveable.
and I also feel guilty.
honestly, we just have been together for one week; however, the feeling is getting stronger.
I dont know why, cos I dont think it will spread dramatically.
I cant reject anything which he ask for, even sex.
I know we are impossible, cos we jsut stay two months.......
after that, who knows what will happen....
sometimes, I m wondering is there any chance to stay together longer.
but the truth is no chance.......
cos I have tete and he will go back to Austria.....
the other is that he is a student now.....
but I like him.... so much~~~~
and I love him.....
I dont know.............
but I dont think he love me so much........................
it's a pity.....maybe the God is testing me now....
unfortunately, failed.............
but I am happy with him......honestly...

It is called fate

2007-02-22T13:11:00.000-08:00

If we break up, I will have no complain.
Due to it is called fate that has no comments.

如果有一天我們分手了
那也是命
我不會有怨言

my 28-year-old birgthday

2007-02-20T16:56:00.000-08:00

today is my 28th birthday which is also the first birthday in the UK.
I am quite happy to celebrate it with my best friends in Lufbra.
Actually, there are different feeling in my mind which are quite complicative.
Some of them are that I am getting older and the others are I am still have no future.
I don't know the decision of going abroad is right or not.
However, it is my dream which has been formed in my mind for many years.
I also miss tete so much.
I have been together with him to celebrate every birthday since we are together from 8 years age.
It is quite happy that I will go home next month.
Then, I can see my parents and tete.
for sure, I also can see many friends of mine.
anyway. happy birthday to myself, qqjj.

原來思念會讓人受不了

2007-02-11T15:51:00.000-08:00

算一算
我來英國已經七個月了
以前也曾經會想家
可是最近不知道為什麼
好像有種快要滿出來的感覺
超級想回家
這幾天,得得去香港玩
剎那間,完全斷了音訊
連最科技的MSN或手機也連絡不上
讓我變得很頹廢
以前我也曾經頹廢過
只要我缺乏某種因子的時候
我就會變的頹廢
現在就是這樣
很想得得,可是卻不能怎樣
本來還可以靠聲音來減低思念的衝擊
現在連聲音的藥都缺貨
或許是我年紀大了
需要定下來了吧
可是我才27歲
再過幾天就是我的生日了
突然不想過生日
因為害怕年紀讓我跟外國同學有距離
第一次有這種抗拒感
好想回家喔
即使是窩在天天下雨,空氣很差的台北
我也願意
因為只要跟得得在一起
在哪都可以

walking in the snowing day

2007-02-09T08:31:00.000-08:00

haha....
It is snowing again since yesterday.
I saw the exactly existence of snowflake.
I haven't walking in the snowing day until yesterday.
One of my friend will go back to Japan so we have a fareware party for him.
Although it was in the noon, it was still snowing.
It is puite special experience for me to walk in the snowing day.
Now, it is snowing again,.
To stay in the house and to listen the Norah Jonse, and watching the snow through the window.
It is happy, peaceful and a little lonely.
It would be better if tete stays with me in the UK.

If u see something unfair, would u come froward immediately?

2007-02-06T16:04:00.000-08:00

I have heard about my friend who was got fired from a big company.
The reason is that she can't do her job well.
Everybody knows that is a trick what a shit comment.
She works very hard and she also work more than what she has to do.
However, she has got the rediculous results, just because she works too hard to stay there.
When she told me this bad news, I felt so surprised.
In the beginning, she was not used to her job, but with time passed, she has been getting better.
There are many issues which need us to think about it.
first one, why did she get fired???
The true reason is that one of her colleagues doesn't like her, because my friend threat her value.
Second, why does it easy to lay off a staff???
It is due to her boss is a idiot who likes to believe what otheres say.
Finally, do we need to work hard???
The answer is 'NO'. The reason is that u will threat others' value if u work hard. Then, u will be backstabbed eventually. This is also my real experience.

Long time ago, I was a senior high school student. I will come forward immediately when I had found my friend's who got some treatment unfair. However, I was betrayed from my friend after I help them to defense those things. After that, I just have got a feeling which is that, 'don't come forward in order to help others to defense the unfair things which are not relevant to me.'

It's so sad~~~because I have lost my orignal characteristics long~ long~ time ago.
I am sorry for my friend who has got somthing unfair.
Hope u can revenge it soon.

It is snowing at this moment

2007-01-23T15:07:00.000-08:00

haha
It is snowing now that I have expected for a long time.
Because I have suffer from the cold weather for many days.
When IKE told me that it is snowing now,I went out to check.
It is really snowing, jaja... and then I called tete and told him this news.
I am so happy so I have decided to write the blog again. jeje
after I got the snowing message, I told everybody.
Just Eric didn't believe what I said, but it doesn't matter.
It doesn't influent my emotion. jeje
It is the first time for me to see the snowing in the moment.
for memory in the UK~~~

Spending My Time

2006-10-28T17:45:00.000-07:00

Roxette

What's the time?
Seems its already morning
I see the sky, its so beautiful and blue
The TV's on
But the only thing showing is a picture of you
Oh, I get up and make myself some coffee
I try to read a bit but the story's too thin
Then I thank the Lord above
That you're not there to see me In this shape
I'm in Spending my time
Watching the days go by Feeling so small
I stare at the wall
Hoping that you think of me too
I'm spending my time
I try to call but I don't know what to tell you
I leave a kiss on your answering machine
Oh, help me please
Is there someone who can make me
Wake up from this dream?
Spending my time
Watching the days go by
Feeling so small
I stare at the wall
Hoping that you are missing me too
I'm spending my time
Watching the sun go down
I fall asleep to the sound
Of "tears of a clown"
A prayer gone blind I'm spending my time
My friends keep telling me:
Hey, life will go on
Time will make sure will get over you
This silly game of love you play you win only to lose
Spending my time
Watching the days go by
Feeling so small
I stare at the wall
Hoping that you are missing me too
I'm spending my time
Watching the sun go down
I fall asleep to the sound
Of "tears of a clown"
A prayer gone blind

It must have been love

2006-10-28T17:44:00.000-07:00

Roxette~~~

Lay a whisper on my pillow
Leave the winter on the ground
I wake up lonely, is there a silence
In the bedroom and all around

Touch me now, I close my eyes
And dream away...

It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out

Make believing we're together
That I'm sheltered by your heart
But in and outside I turn to water
Like a teardrop in your palm

And it's a hard winter's day
I dream away...

It must have been love, but it's over now
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without
It must have been love, but it's over now
It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows

It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out

到英國的第一天 17 July 21:51

2006-10-20T15:19:00.000-07:00

今天是我到英國的第一天
除了心情上還處於blue的狀態之外
我對英國的天氣真的不能接受
因為實在有夠熱
不知道味什麼,英國居然沒有冷氣或空調
實在快暈倒了
心情已經夠低落了,天氣還那模熱
針想罵髒話
哈哈
可是我現在不能罵髒話了
到學校的路上
我完全找不到高大的建築
或許是因為高速公路都是開在郊區
哈哈
不過Heasrow一點也不像國際機場
居然比香港還小
暈倒
總之
我覺得英國是一個大寶庫
所以一定有很多等待我去探險的地方
明天我要去找房子了
希望可以順利找到
其實要順利
只要錢多就可以拉
哈哈哈哈

Lucky
相信我，過兩天變冷了你會再幹醮一次

welcome to the UK18 July 20:26(http://luckytimothy.spaces.msn.com/)

elsa
一個人加油喔！！
相信妳夠獨立可以完成
真想去找你玩ㄋㄟ
呵呵18 July 05:26

Bath Trip

2006-10-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

Last Saterday, I went to Bath city which have the most famous historic building-The Roman Bath Museum.
This is the first time that I spent 7.2 pond to visit the Museum, because there are myraid of museums in the UK.
If you want to see each one, you have to prepare adequate money.(It is not joking)
The Roman is a race who like to take a bath so much.
They usually take a bath twice a day therefore, the bath had become their social place.
There are many carved statues around the centre bath whcih looks like military.
Furthermore, every military with different positions have own name, however, I have forgotten their names.
When I stood there, I was striken with repect.
It's unbelievable and amazing for their architecture and intelligence
I am treated to an azmaing view of its majestic building and vivid carved statues.
It is really worth to pay 7 ponds to visit.
Furthermore, I spent 20 ponds to buy a 100% cashmere neckerchief which is not only softer but also warmer.
It is truly worth to buy,haha...
It is softer and wamrer

qqjj
how could u say that
I am just 27 years old and i looks like more younger
In Korea, younger people should respect older people whenever.....
so~~~~~u know what i mean,haha
u are a clever boy.hahaha~~~~~~
19 September 09:15(http://carinatw.spaces.live.com/)

最尊敬妳的學弟
沒有之華學姊的台灣真是有點無趣
我明天又要回金門拉
我居然也要退伍了
也是拉你都快三十了
哈我真是很激掰
噴小賓918也要進去贖罪了
你不在台灣的這段日子沒什麼驚人的改變
學姊的地位依舊穩固
因為找不到比妳更激掰的人
請加油不要十月就回國了

你可以介紹妳的正妹室友給我嗎
學弟我最近缺女人

祝親愛的之華學姊一切順心09 September 17:20(http://ha1215.spaces.live.com/)

Viviane
Wow, seems you are quite enjoy the life in UK.
It's nice to visit and expereince everything there.
I really miss the time I was studying there, also regread so many placese I haven't been to22 August 09:34(http://flaviachen.spaces.live.com/)

I am so lucky

2006-10-20T15:11:00.000-07:00

Last night, there was a thief entered into my house through the window, and wanted to steal.
He opened my door, becuase I lived in the downstair bedroom
Fortunately, he didn't steal anything
I think the reason is that I awared the sound when the culprit opened my door.
Actually, I pretended sleeping, because I thought the sound was made by ghost. hahaha....
As a result, we called the ploice this morning, and there are two police and a CSI officer came to my house.
I am so surprised that they take it seriously and they collected all evidence as much as they can.
Furthermore, I am excited about the CSI officer as well, because I always watched it on TV.
It have never happened in my real life, moreover, I saw many investigative tools such as collecting finger print, and the camera.
In addition, the CSI officer also collected our finger prints; it just like the plot of cinema.
By the way, my landlord have set up the alarm last thursday, and the thief entered to my house next day. haha..
Honestly speaking, I am a little scared~~

I like music

2006-10-20T15:07:00.000-07:00

music is a good friend whenever u are happey or not
u will understand what it means when u feel sad
sometimes, u have no feeling when u hear the song
however, u will recall it in ur mind when u feel sad
i like bands such as Keane, Savage Garden and Coldplay.
In addition, I also like James Blunt, Dido and Norah Jones.
I have found that most of the songs which i like are a little dark blue.
how about u??

recommend u this one~~~from Keane

Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty landI knew the pathway like the back of my hand

I felt the earth beneath my feetSat by the river and it made me completeOh simple thing where have you gone

I'm getting old and I need something to rely onSo tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to beginI came across a fallen tree

I felt the branches of it looking at meIs this the place we used to love?

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you goneI'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me inI'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everythingSo why don't we goSomewhere only we know?

[break]

Oh simple thing where have you gone

I'm getting old and I need something to rely onSo tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

Somewhere only we know?

new house

2006-10-20T15:06:00.000-07:00

i have llived in my new house for four days
the whole furnitures are new and IKEA style,haha
i love my room because it is the blue series and with a double bed
our livingroom and kitchen are also quite good
the landlord provides every kinds of tools including cooking and household
beside that, there is a big basement where has many shelfs to store wine
anyway, i like my house.^^

difficulty

2006-10-20T15:05:00.000-07:00

I think people can not accept someone bother my privateness and therefore, they will defence it without any consideration
sometimes, they might hurt them whom bother their privateness when they defence
however, the orignal reason is that someone encroaches on their private life.
furthermore, they have to say sorry to invaders, meanwhile, the real victim is those who are encraoched on personal issues.

first time to watch the football match

2006-10-20T15:03:00.000-07:00

I wnet to watch a football game which teams are Sheffield United v Reading
I was very excited about that because this is the fisrt time in my life to see the football game
i waked up very earlier and spent two hours by train to Sheffield
We arrived to Sheffeld at 11.00 am and therefore, we have much time to
the first one we have to do is waiting palyers comeing and to ask a signature
i got many player's signature such as Rob Hulse who is the best one in Sheffield because he is such a handsome guy, haha...
however, my favorite player is Iker Casillas
the football field is not very large so i can watch every player clearly
in the beginning, the player of Reading had goaled in one minute, even though i have not prepared to focus on the game,hahaha.....
in the whole game, i am excited especial when Sheffield United got one score
in addition, i found that the British like to say filthy language when they are watching football game
it is totally different with ordinary
i have bought a cup for souvenir~~~

Viviane
Well, about football match... I am not very interesting in that when I was in UK. I was studying in sheffild, and the football field just about 10-20 min from my apartment. However I don't even went for once. It's pitty that I didn't experience the ambience while I staying there. I am happy you are enjoy life there, to see, to try and to understand different culture in another country. GOOD21 September 16:30(http://flaviachen.spaces.live.com/)

Oxford Trip

2006-10-20T15:01:00.000-07:00

Oxford is a beautiful and classical city which building have been built for hundreds of years.
I found that it is not adequate to spend one day to visit there because there are myraid of famous historic buidings such as Abbey and colleages.
There is a library that is the second one in the UK, therefore every new book published have to delivered to this library.
Unfortunately, I did a stupid action that is to remove the data in my DC ,therefore many pictures had gone.

London trip

2006-10-20T14:59:00.000-07:00

今天去倫敦
一個對我而言非常陌生的都市
想到八年前我剛到台北的時候
也是有著相同的心情
今天看到大笨鐘,西敏寺,國會殿堂,海德公園
這些以前只能在discovery頻道看到的建築
活生生的矗立在我的眼前
這種感覺真的不可思議另外一個不可思議的就是
倫敦的東西真的太貴了
當我走在倫敦的百貨公司裡面的時候
我與世界上很多有錢人逛著一樣的店
看著philip stock設計的椅子,eva solo設計的tea shirt
剎那間,之前只能在誠品裡面看雜誌看到的東西
都活生生的在我眼前
哈哈,那種感覺真的很神奇

倫敦真的太大了
我們在這邊停留半天的時間
我居然只能在oxford street逛街
oxford street就像台北的忠孝東路一樣
(讓我想起忠孝東路走九遍那首歌) 哈哈
每個地方我都想再去一次
倫敦真的是個很大的城市
我想可能需要一個月的時間
才可以好好的看清楚她的面貌

這一次我沒有拍很多照片
因為想家的感覺使我變有點blue
我想,所看到的一切都已經儲存在我的腦海
我想,X'mas的時候我一定會再去一次
跟tete一起去XD

單細胞動物
呵呵
說的我真的也好想現在就殺去了...
看來妳應是募到款囉~

妳要多寫一點英國的介紹,
之後小弟就等著問問妳這個英國通了~

暐珽30 July 15:53(http://arenas27.spaces.msn.com/)

York Trip

2006-10-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

今天學校帶我們去York
老實說,因為我沒有做功課
所以去到那邊
tour guide說的東西
一點也引起不了我的共鳴
不過
York的建築真的很每很每
雄偉的令人讚嘆
琉璃窗戶也非常的漂亮

不過
除了這些東西之外
我印象比較深刻的
哈哈
莫過於我愛的品牌
我發現ZARA在英國
只能說,時再是太便宜了
我看到一件新款的針織衫
不打折只要9磅
在台灣9磅大概只能在打對折或下3折的時候才買的到了吧,我想
另一個令我印象叫深刻的就是瑰柏翠
也是很便宜
大概只有台灣一半的價錢
打折的時候更划算
而且還有很多很台灣沒有的款

不過我還是有看到貴的東西
那就是隱形眼鏡藥水
355ml的愛爾康居然要500塊以上
搶錢也不是這樣搞~~~~
漸漸的喜歡上英國了
因為真的有很多意想不到的東西
我一定要努力存錢
在明年回國的前三個月
痛快的血拼一番

奉勸大家想要出國唸書的人
除了存學費跟生活費以外
一定要存血拼的費用
因為這裡真的有太多東西你都會想把它買回家