I have experienced the relationship which is the most truly, wholeheartly hurt but the sweetest n lovely

He told me he have decided to separate after he go back after threes months.
I said it's fine for me if you say so, even thought my heart is bleeding at that moment.
He told me many reasons such as culture issue, communication problems, we won't speak the native language of each others, I can't get the job in Germany because of language and I won't be happy to be a hausfrau.
I was quiet to listen what he said and to see his eyes with tears.
I asked him how many possibility we will be together after he go back, and I helped him to answer this question,
first, he will say he doesn't know.
second, the possibility is like only 10 %
it hurt me soooooooooooooooooooooooo much and it's hard to express how painful I feel.
It's like a glass which is shot by a gun suddenly
I think I can t do anything because I can feel he is trying to convince ourselves that we won t make it.
Consequently, it seems useless and hopeless to say anything no matter how much I want to solve it.
He was asking me why I love him so much...
my answer was that nobody is like him who always try to make me laugh a lot and to hold me like that
I do really want to say I don t love him and it would be easier for me to get rid of this sadness.
before tomorrow, I still hold a little tiny hope that we can make it, but now, he has totally destroyed my wish.
It s ok because relationship is composed of two people.
I won t force him if he is not interested in me.
I just wanna say it is so painful like a sharp knife which can t stopping lunging into my heart.
I am sure I will miss him so much and I know it will take a long time until when that I can't predict.
I don t regret because I chose it when I met him in Lufbra.
Now, I have experienced the relationship which is the most truly, wholeheartly hurt but the sweetest n lovely.