no one can predict the future~

I thought we love each other more and more.
everytime, when I think about u, I wont live with him anymore...
due to I love u
but I know u will live with her when u go back to Austria...
I donno how to say that...it's too complicated...
we know both of us dont want to be them him/her anymore...
but how can we do???
it's too far....isnt it?

張愛玲"紅玫瑰與白玫瑰"

張愛玲"紅玫瑰與白玫瑰"裏的...
『 振保的生命裡有兩個女人,
他說一個是他的白玫瑰,
一個是他的紅玫瑰 ...

也許每一個男子全都有過這樣的兩個女人,
至少兩個.

娶了紅玫瑰, 久而久之,
紅的變了牆上的一抹蚊子血,
白的還是"床前明月光".


娶了白玫瑰,
白的便是衣服上的一粒飯粘子,
紅的卻是心口上的一顆"朱砂痣".』


I think that I prefer to be the rose which is far from u.
when we are in our life, everything has turned to be routine
people say that I ve changed my origional style, I think: I am .
I donno know what's wrong with me.
I do my best to cook everyday in order to let u have a dinner
it's so strange for me, cos I ve never ever look for the recipe.
now, I do it....
I think that I really fall in love....
however, is it worthy???
I donno
anyway, I will see after three months.